It's true. There is an actual picture of me floating around somewhere in these most hideous of fashion faux pas. I'm not sure what possessed my parents to agree to buy them for me, but in my defense, I wanted them to show my love for the Bay City Rollers. I was 8 years old.....
The BCR were my first ever "real" band if you know what I mean. Prior to them, my musical catalog consisted mostly of anything Disney related and whatever my parents listened to. Then one day I heard them on a friend's moms radio and my whole world changed. Just like that...gone were my Sleeping Beauty 45s and in their place, the Bay City Rollers Greatest Hits. I already knew how to spell Saturday....but after that, I was a pro.
Somewhere during my eye opening experience of non-children friendly music, I decided I needed to fit in with the fashion as well. Since the BCR liked plaid (it was on most of their album covers for those that were lucky enough not to know), I did too. Since they wore widely flared pants, those were my new favorite. Going shopping with my mom and hunting for the perfect outfit, I managed to find the ugliest flared jeans for children that came out in 1978. I can't remember where exactly we got them, but I'm pretty sure it was Kmart since that's where most of my wardrobe at that time came from. What I do remember though, is seeing them and knowing right away that those were my pants. Those hideous, god awful, flared pants. They were everything I shouldn't have wanted and more. Not only did I wear them after my mostly speechless parents bought them for me, I wore the hell out of them! I would wear them every day if I could, going so far as convincing my mom to do extra loads of laundry so they could be worn more often. I really thought I was so cool. I mean here I was, 8 years old, ditching the bibbity-bobbity-boo baby music and knowing that I only wanted to be with you in my Kmart bought wide flared leg plaid pants. How was I not totally awesome? I think I even strutted a bit when I walked.
Later on of course I realized how ugly those pants were. It was a cruel reality becoming 9 and I have since decided that being 8 was no excuse for bad taste. I would use the "it was the 70's" as an out...but that can only explain away the flare. The pattern is a whole other story. I recently went through our old family photo albums because I know there is a picture that still exists. I couldn't find it. There was an empty square spot where I'm pretty sure it was supposed to be. I'm fairly certain someone in my family has it. I've been waiting for the inevitable Facebook tag. I know it's coming. So far, nothing. I won't stay that lucky...this I know.
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