So.....I hit a squirrel once

I was driving to work one day when a squirrel ran out into the road. I swear I didn’t see it until it was too late. I felt it as my tire went over its tiny little body. Nausea hit. I felt sick. I glanced in my rearview and saw it lying in the road. It didn’t move. I slowed down but didn’t stop. I couldn’t. I was going to be late. Waves of sadness rolled over me and then the tears started rolling.

I’d never hit an animal before. Bugs had committed suicide on my windshield many times, but I’d never hit an animal. It was my first time. Hopefully my last. I can’t even stand to see an animal’s body on the side of the road after being hit by someone else. I have to look away and close my eyes. Not the best thing to do when you are driving. I mourned that poor squirrel and his squirrel family all day. Co-workers, noticing my obvious distress, didn’t quite seem to understand why I was so upset. After I told them the tragedy of that mornings events while the tears were streaming down my face, I got more than a few strange looks and a couple of pity back pats before everyone scattered and vowed to give me my space for the day while whispering quietly to each other as they left the room. Alone in my fortress of despair, I couldn’t shake the immense sadness I felt. I killed a squirrel. Vehicular homicide! I thought about his family and imagined what it would be like for his wife and kids when he didn’t return home (I don't actually know if it was a male, I'm just assuming). What would they do? Would they would go out looking for him and stumble across his lifeless body lying in the street? Would they know he was murdered? Left to die cold and alone? Would they seek the one who destroyed their family, vowing to get revenge? Should I be concerned when I see squirrels in my yard?

These are questions I ask myself often. They come onto my property. They don’t hide. I see them. They watch my house. They know what I did. The guilt is great, but I don’t act. It’s their move…….